As we have said many times, to the extent that the gospels accurately record the events of a real man doing and saying real things – and that belief remains in the faith of the reader, he was, without any doubt, the most radical progressive of his time. He died young, if he was here in the United States today, he would be pushing the squad to be less conservative and less afraid of the consequences. All things are relative.
Women’s rights, a wealth tax and universal basic income, borders open to all true refugees fleeing persecution, funding for education, racism? What race? Try to figure out Jesus’s race, Middle Eastern Jew, there would be no “race” in the world, only people… Jesus would have made a very poor Republican and an unhappy one.
Which is what makes the “Republican Jesus” trend on Twitter, pure irony, two-word irony, and an open invitation to serious and hilarious messages, we’ll be commenting throughout:
.#RepublicanJesus [1] be like "Oh ye of little expendable income cast the first Lear Jet, for it is good" pic.twitter.com/3ZNelZcpHC [2]
— Liam Nissan™ (@theliamnissan) August 29, 2021 [3]
Joel Osteen may be the picture boy of the Republican Jesus (would that make him the anti-Christ?), after all, wouldn’t Jesus demand a home like this:
Fraud Joel Osteen was given $4.4M.
This is his house, not his laundering multimillion dollar Megachurch.But struggling families in need get $600 as they lose their homes, jobs and are in food bank lines. pic.twitter.com/Fc42PkJKFZ [4]
— Ricky Davila (@TheRickyDavila) December 22, 2020 [5]
We cannot imagine Jesus demanding anything less.
Below, we believe we do a good job of breaking it down but nowhere near as good as some:
Since this is trending, I highly recommend the book Republican Jesus by Tony Keddie as it does a good job of deconstructing the myth of the GOP Jesus. #republicanjesus [6] pic.twitter.com/8iZVRwdAeI [7]
— Boomer Orc (@BoomerOrc) August 29, 2021 [8]
#republicanjesus [6] would not recognize Jesus of Nazareth pic.twitter.com/ZFLQoFkj8T [9]
— Eddie Muddy (@thugsRbadMK) August 29, 2021 [10]
Yeah, pull yourself up by the bootstrap really wasn’t one of the core tenets of Jesus’s teachings but it might be the core of modern Republicanism.
#republicanjesus [6] , according to Megyn Kelly : pic.twitter.com/a22UBvbByM [11]
— JFK (@JFKtheone) August 29, 2021 [12]
Trump’s foreign policy.
Jesus was born in the Middle East.
He didn't speak English.
He wasn't white.
He wasn't Evangelical.
He wasn't a Republican.
He wasn't American.
Heck, he wasn't even Christian.
(Sorry to break it to you, Evangelicals.)https://t.co/YvfmeCW3vo [13]— John Pavlovitz (@johnpavlovitz) August 25, 2021 [14]
The real irony. He wouldn’t be accepted in today’s modern evangelical movement.
#RepublicanJesus [1], the only white guy in Jerusalem. pic.twitter.com/LXjkn8NAsB [15]
— Andrea Wikso (She/her) (@kismet66) August 29, 2021 [16]
#republicanjesus [6] finds loopholes so he doesn't have render one cent unto Caesar.
— Will Andrade (@IrtsyArtsy) August 29, 2021 [17]
https://twitter.com/AmonBumdy/status/1432043017431617540
And then Republican Jesus said:
"Lo I sayeth unto you, only helpeth thy poor & thy hungry amongst you that passeth thy sacred drug test."#RepublicanJesus [1] #GOPHypocrisy [18] #GQP [19] #GOPFakeChristians [20] pic.twitter.com/vW0XbXpPku [21]
— Andrea Wikso (She/her) (@kismet66) August 29, 2021 [22]
And here we have, an actual Republican retort:
You would have to know something about Christ, before trying to discern how to vote based on His example.
Christ did not change God's Laws, nor the Commandments. He upheld them all, perfectly.
— ✞Patrick S Read🇺🇸🇺🇦🇮🇱 (@SwiftRead) August 29, 2021 [23]
No. Actually, he did say he came to deliver the new promise. He pretty much called out anyone wanting to stone an adulteress, never mind planting crops on whatever side of whatever. He spent most of his time among the poor. ‘Nuff said. But this is what Repubs do best, put their spin on the actual words in front of their face.
#republicanjesus [6] wants to help Americans first but hates helping Americans. pic.twitter.com/O74P8wnL2a [24]
— 🇺🇲🇺🇦🌊F Elon (@VirtuallyNo1) August 29, 2021 [25]
For I was hungry and you stopped me from being lazy, I was thirsty and you put lead in my water, I was a stranger and you destroyed the visa program … I was in prison for giving water to voters, and you put me there.#RepublicanJesus [1]
— The True American (@TheTrueAmerica5) August 29, 2021 [26]
Beautiful. Above.
#republicanjesus [6] says “Treat others exactly the opposite of how you want to be treated.”
— Jesus Fucking Christ 🌈 (@SHEsus__Christ) August 29, 2021 [27]
I hate to deliver the bad news about #RepublicanJesus [1], but… pic.twitter.com/5d4UlAqOWv [28]
— HEY-EY-EY-EY! (HEY-EY-EY-EY!) Let's Go, Buffalo! (@SethFromThe716) August 29, 2021 [29]
“These kids are spoiled. When I was a kid, we starved to death and we liked it.” https://t.co/rc5r1DqaGE [30]
— Republican Jesus. (@rightwing_jesus) August 28, 2021 [31]
And there. Snark and serious. Great messages for a Sunday.
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[email protected] and on Twitter @JasonMiciak