Politics - News Analysis

CAT 5 Tweetstorm Launched Because Trump’s GOLF GAME Was Rained OUT

Jesus, this guy.

Seventy-two million innocent twitter users were beset by tragedy late today as Donald Trump unleashed an unforecasted Cat 5 tweetstorm, hitting unprepared phone holders across borders, many were still recovering from a long Valentines Friday night – if they were lucky. The storm seemed to originate with a few showers in south Florida that deprived the man-god of his golf game. Very little was spared.

The outburst — which numbered dozens of tweets and retweets — occurred after the president returned to Mar-a-Lago from Trump International Golf Club.

“POTUS managed to fit some golf in despite bouts of substantial rain here in West Palm Beach,” the White House pool reported.

It began innocently enough,

Trump began by thanking a supporter, David J. Harris, Jr., who filmed a video of himself walking through an airport with a red, “Keep America Great” Trump reelection campaign hat.

But the storm quickly devolved into a tornadic cyclone of sh*t, raging fury and picking up atmospheric energy, having been denied the golf outing that god so very much owed the King.

Trump retweeted messages from Vice President Mike Pence, RNC Chair Ronna (Romney) McDaniel, Senate Republicans, former Fox News personality Eric Bolling, Sen. Chuck Grassley (R-IA), Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell (R-KY), Sen. Martha McSally (R-AZ), the office of Sen. Marco Rubio (R-FL), Sen. John Barrasso (R-WY), Sen. Rick Scott (R-FL), Sen. John Thune (R-SD), Sen. Joni Ernst (R-IA), Sen. Todd Young (R-IN), and Sen. Tim Scott (R-SC).

In the forty-something tweets that have been sent out since being denied the golf Donnie so desperately wanted, near all have centered around his demand for a second life as king – what mortals refer to as a second term.

The storm left the nation in agreement that should the king win a second term, all funds currently set-aside for the king’s wall, should be transferred into building an indoor golfing facility so as to spare the nation any further unannounced storms of the type endured this afternoon.

Anyone wanting to peruse the twamage will have to go to the site itself and scroll. We only have so much battery to work with.

I am going to leave this one as the throwaway, because it is so Trumpian. It makes absolutely no sense. Democrats never sought to build a wall because it was a giant waste of money and wouldn’t work even if built – as Trump’s current “wall” is proving.

****

Peace, y’all

Jason

[email protected] and on Twitter @MiciakZoom

 

 

meet the author

Jason Miciak is a political writer, features writer, author, and attorney. He is originally from Canada but grew up in the Pacific Northwest. He now enjoys life as a single dad raising a ridiculously-loved young girl on the beaches of the Gulf Coast. He is very much the dreamy mystic, a day without learning is a day not lived. He is passionate about his flower pots and studies philosophical science, religion, and non-mathematical principles of theoretical physics. Dogs, pizza, and love are proof that God exists. "Above all else, love one another."

Comments

Comments are currently closed.